Day 92
At some point you stop counting days and start living them.
That thought struck me as John and I ate pizza over a SciFi channel tv show this evening. I think it is harder, in its own way, to simply live life every day than it is to live simply to live on for another day. John mocks such koan "philosophy", but only in the sense that it is making too much sense out of too little.
This morning, John had his Hickman line pulled. It goes in the chest, runs beneath the skin and enters a vein where it stops at the heart. The whole thing is designed to deliver and disperse large quantities of blood and poisons so that they spread quickly, hurting and healing the whole body and not merely one spot. Ironically, it is easiest to pull the tubes out without painkillers, because you need an IV to do so and, yes, it is the IV that you are removing. Dr. Hickman put it in and he took it out. There will always be a pad for its entry that will stay under the skin in his chest.
This afternoon was "graduation." Pat was off today. She has been the one person pretty much there from start almost to the finish, and I brought my camera, but didn't have the chance to use it. John's send off, as a result, was more casual and cliched than caring, but that probably made him more comfortable.
I have a large package of papers to read and then to deliver to Dr. Khoury next Friday. We have enough medications for a few weeks and a lot still to pack. We also have a lot to be thankful for and a lot of people to thank. Now there will be time for that and time for John to grow. I'd like some time to rest now for a bit.
That thought struck me as John and I ate pizza over a SciFi channel tv show this evening. I think it is harder, in its own way, to simply live life every day than it is to live simply to live on for another day. John mocks such koan "philosophy", but only in the sense that it is making too much sense out of too little.
This morning, John had his Hickman line pulled. It goes in the chest, runs beneath the skin and enters a vein where it stops at the heart. The whole thing is designed to deliver and disperse large quantities of blood and poisons so that they spread quickly, hurting and healing the whole body and not merely one spot. Ironically, it is easiest to pull the tubes out without painkillers, because you need an IV to do so and, yes, it is the IV that you are removing. Dr. Hickman put it in and he took it out. There will always be a pad for its entry that will stay under the skin in his chest.
This afternoon was "graduation." Pat was off today. She has been the one person pretty much there from start almost to the finish, and I brought my camera, but didn't have the chance to use it. John's send off, as a result, was more casual and cliched than caring, but that probably made him more comfortable.
I have a large package of papers to read and then to deliver to Dr. Khoury next Friday. We have enough medications for a few weeks and a lot still to pack. We also have a lot to be thankful for and a lot of people to thank. Now there will be time for that and time for John to grow. I'd like some time to rest now for a bit.
