Day 15
Well, these are supposed to be the hard days, as John’s white blood count drops as close to zero as they can get it, and this was a hard day. He has dropped even further to 170 pounds, his face and feet are terribly swollen, his eyes have saucer circles around them and the word they use for the red blotches that cover his body, a “rash” would better be called a lie, except that it’s not technically a lie if they don’t know what it is. (OK, I’m entitled to rant.)
Today, John’s mom felt it was time to tell him he wasn’t going to be able to go back to school next term. That is becoming more and more certain, but…. That prompted a lot of questions that he and I talked through as best we could for a long time. It was the first time through all of this that John has cried. It was a hard conversation that no parent, or anyone, deserves to have with anyone, and I will leave it at that. He said he wants to come stay with Debbie and me when he is released, which makes some sense. He asked me to go clean out his dorm room, which is another of those things a parent hates to do. Actually, no parent wants to clean any child’s room, but I am entitled to think that it’s even worse in this case.
John is only pretending to eat and will need to go on IV feeding by tomorrow. He isn’t allowed visitors until he starts to recover. I have a telephone meeting with a doctor in Seattle on Tuesday and am more and more inclined to see that as our best option.
Debbie is suffering as much or more as any of us through this. Those with the best hearts also hurt the most. Still, she is a comfort to John and to me, as she is to all.
Today, John’s mom felt it was time to tell him he wasn’t going to be able to go back to school next term. That is becoming more and more certain, but…. That prompted a lot of questions that he and I talked through as best we could for a long time. It was the first time through all of this that John has cried. It was a hard conversation that no parent, or anyone, deserves to have with anyone, and I will leave it at that. He said he wants to come stay with Debbie and me when he is released, which makes some sense. He asked me to go clean out his dorm room, which is another of those things a parent hates to do. Actually, no parent wants to clean any child’s room, but I am entitled to think that it’s even worse in this case.
John is only pretending to eat and will need to go on IV feeding by tomorrow. He isn’t allowed visitors until he starts to recover. I have a telephone meeting with a doctor in Seattle on Tuesday and am more and more inclined to see that as our best option.
Debbie is suffering as much or more as any of us through this. Those with the best hearts also hurt the most. Still, she is a comfort to John and to me, as she is to all.
