Day 175
The effects of the chemotherapy began to show yesterday afternoon. Through the blur caused by the anti seizure and nausea prevention drugs, you could see John begin to tire and weaken somewhat. By the afternoon, it was nearly impossible to coax him to eat or to take a shower. All this is to be expected, but his will to make his own decisions remained strong, even though his judgment was weakened.
All this made everyone, John included, frustrated with him and each other. I think we may take John back and forth to the clinic today, rather than stay there between blood tests. Being able to rest while waiting may reduce the tedium and conserve his strength.
When I picked up John's next day's doses of chemo last night, I spoke to his nurse about John's state. She asked if we needed to admit him to the hospital early, which I said wasn't necessary. She mentioned then that they worried about the fact that John didn't show the kind of fighting spirit that helps many cope with what he has, is and will go through. It was a good observation I thought, but as with the physical disease, you take your patients in whatever mental state you find them. John is young and this experience will do more inside him than change his bone marrow. We all cope in our own way and thus far his has been to take the process as it comes to him. The whole process has been too much for him to cope with, but he has handled each day's challenges as they have come to him.
John's blood type will change after the transplant from A positive to O negative, an interesting fact and something they know how to cope with during the physical transition. That fact and the notion that the DNA of his blood will not match his tissue, has led to some interesting conversation. John has been thinking of giving a name to the alterego that will live inside him. He will have a more literal, if not true, excuse than "the devil made me do it" for misbehaving or the like. I suggested he consider a Mary Shelley character, such as Igor, as a name for his new inner identity or perhaps a character with an accent that he could affect for fun.
John's mother comes to town tonight to stay for a time while the transplant takes place. I haven't mentioned her much and really have very little to do with her. We don't communicate much and differ too much when we do. I expect she will be in town for a week or two, and I hope that will give some comfort to John. His past two hospitalizations conflicted with vacation trips she had scheduled, but her presence and support this time may give him an added boost.
It is early here, after a night of little sleep, but it is time now to take on another day.
All this made everyone, John included, frustrated with him and each other. I think we may take John back and forth to the clinic today, rather than stay there between blood tests. Being able to rest while waiting may reduce the tedium and conserve his strength.
When I picked up John's next day's doses of chemo last night, I spoke to his nurse about John's state. She asked if we needed to admit him to the hospital early, which I said wasn't necessary. She mentioned then that they worried about the fact that John didn't show the kind of fighting spirit that helps many cope with what he has, is and will go through. It was a good observation I thought, but as with the physical disease, you take your patients in whatever mental state you find them. John is young and this experience will do more inside him than change his bone marrow. We all cope in our own way and thus far his has been to take the process as it comes to him. The whole process has been too much for him to cope with, but he has handled each day's challenges as they have come to him.
John's blood type will change after the transplant from A positive to O negative, an interesting fact and something they know how to cope with during the physical transition. That fact and the notion that the DNA of his blood will not match his tissue, has led to some interesting conversation. John has been thinking of giving a name to the alterego that will live inside him. He will have a more literal, if not true, excuse than "the devil made me do it" for misbehaving or the like. I suggested he consider a Mary Shelley character, such as Igor, as a name for his new inner identity or perhaps a character with an accent that he could affect for fun.
John's mother comes to town tonight to stay for a time while the transplant takes place. I haven't mentioned her much and really have very little to do with her. We don't communicate much and differ too much when we do. I expect she will be in town for a week or two, and I hope that will give some comfort to John. His past two hospitalizations conflicted with vacation trips she had scheduled, but her presence and support this time may give him an added boost.
It is early here, after a night of little sleep, but it is time now to take on another day.
